Here are some stories about my life that won’t be useful to you at all.

My coming out story went “mini” viral on YouTube

I decided to throw my name in the hat (literally) at a Moth Storytelling event in New York City. I told my story of how I discovered my sexuality and had that “oh sh*t I’m gay moment.” I posted the video on YouTube and it went viral which then lead me to being invited to officiate a lesbian wedding in Berlin. Prost!

I’m a two-time entrepreneur

In 2013 my three co-founders and I founded Lemon City Tea Co. We created a tea line that highlighted the Caribbean and Latin-American roots of the four founders. At its height, Lemon City teas were served at over 40 restaurants, hotels and bars in Miami.

In 2018 my co-founder and I created an interactive sexual wellness and discovery app with over 50k users around the world. Eforia is the first app to offer romance and erotica choose-you-own-adventure games delivered in a text format – allowing users to lose control while holding onto it.

Both of my small businesses got in the news.

Billie holiday has been my top artist for the last 12 years on spotify.

I’m nothing if not consistent 🤷🏻‍♀️

I was a juror at the Dubai Lynx Awards

In 2020 I was on the Film, Print and Radio jury at the Dubai Lynx Awards. I also was on a grand jury once in New York but this feels more prestigious.

I have messed up nightmares that deserve to be horror films.

So I turned them into movie posters.

View fullsize Last night I dreamt that me and some random guy did ecstasy and black out and go crazy. When we wake up we realize we killed someone even though we warned them to leave and escape. Turns out me and this random guy are a notorious killer couple so I k
View fullsize Last night I had a dream that this really hot girl got obsessed with me. Usually I’d be like, oh awesome! But turns out she was actually a serial killer (of course). She would call me and check in and if my friend or I didn’t answer the c
View fullsize So this dream is super old. It was when Bethany Frankel still had her reality show “Bethany ever after” (don’t judge). I dreamt that I was outside of a giant mansion that belonged to Bethenny in the Scottish Highlands. In front of t
View fullsize Last night I had a dream where I was in an old beach shop and someone came in with some fast food. All of a sudden the fries turned into octopus tentacles and started trying to kill us. I was screaming as I was trying to fight off a tentacle that was
View fullsize Sorry for delay on posts but back with a vengeance (which is a theme that will probably show up at some point). This poster features my awesome friend @nomdeblair nightmare. Enjoy! I dreamt that my coworker told me she was engaged to John Stamos. I i
View fullsize Anyone that knows me knows that I am constantly telling people to go to the dermatologist to get their moles checked so it was only natural it would show up in my dreams as well. I dreamt that I had gone to the dermatologist to get a mole remove
View fullsize This dream was sent in by @katdoylee and I have never laughed as hard from a user submission. Please read her dream below, fucking hilarious. I have no idea what lead to this point, but I’m in my childhood home in the living room, squished on
View fullsize Last night I dreamt there was a family that was trying to live forever and submerged themselves in these pods that changes their bodies' composition so it’s now made out of a material made from candle wax that would supposedly last a lifetime.
View fullsize Last night I had a nightmare where I was back living in Paris but in a really weird modern apartment. One day I come home and find a giant 3 inch tall pile of breadcrumbs along the couch. I get annoyed because I think it’s my parents who were v
View fullsize This poster isn’t necessarily about a specific nightmare but about something I experience a lot while I’m sleeping. I’ll be in a nightmare but I wake up halfway and I’ll still be somewhat in the dream but also know I’m d
View fullsize Last night I dreamt I went into a room where there was a Nurse Ratched type character and some other evil guy. They would force me to breathe into a plastic bag so would slowly asphyxiate to death. I would die but then walk back into the same room an
View fullsize Last night I dreamt that I was going on a trip with my friend @launicaale and I couldn't get my mobile boarding pass to open. I rushing to airport, realize I left my suitcase at home after already leaving half of my clothes somewhere else. I'm ridicu
View fullsize Last night I dreamt I was living in a Post apocalyptic world (per usual). A woman had gotten bit by a baby zombie and decided to take care of it which disappointed her family. She moves into an underground abandoned mall and closes the baby zombie o
View fullsize I had this nightmare a couple years ago. I dreamt that there was this evil spirit from Romania that had possessed a small town. The evil spirit would first come to a new town and posses one person. Anytime the possessed individual would make eye cont
View fullsize Last night I had a dream I was going to the zoo with an old coworker and his daughter. As we are driving on the road to get to the zoo the hill we are on becomes steeper and steeper until we are practically vertical. I was beginning to panic that the
View fullsize This is a nightmare sent in by one of my favorite people, @elayyyne Below you can read her dream... feel like we might have a novelist on our hands. We were in a boat, sailing in the North Pacific. That’s when the bombing started. We had to tu

I used to think there was an invisible shark that lived in my pool when I was little and I was terrified to swim in it alone.

  • "Why aren't you wearing earrings?"

    Quote from my mother:
    Carolina Chamorro

  • "I don't get it."

    Quote from my mother:
    Carolina Chamorro

  • "You aren't going to put on any makeup?"

    Quote from my mother:
    Carolina Chamorro

  • "You are my favorite daughter."*

    Quote from my mother:
    *Unverified

I still have not forgiven my parents for this outfit and have not worn a pink tin foil dress since.

I’m fluent in English, Spanish,
and restaurant and taxi French.

The super powers I wish I could have in order of preference:

  • I can’t imagine anything cooler than just literally POPPING over to Italy for some “quick Italian” food. Or getting your morning coffee and croissant in Paris before popping over to the Scottish hills to pet a Highland cow. You would however need to keep this power a secret for three reasons:
    A) The government would probably test you in a lab or use you for nefarious purposes.
    B) You would literally never have an excuse to bail on a family event ever again.
    C) The whole term of “can you give me a ride” would take on a whole new meaning and I could see that getting overwhelming.

  • This would be a DREAM. I mean, speaking EVERY language and dialect fluently like a local?? How cool would that be? I would probably try to either become a spy or like the highest paid translator in the world.

  • I mean if I could eat a shake shack burger and my body thinks I ate a grilled chicken and some Kale? Who wouldn’t want this power?

I have never been able to touch my toes.

Before advertising

I graduated college at the height of the 2007 recession. I moved to New York thinking that my new portfolio and killer vest and pant suit combo was going to make NYC my b*tch. Instead, I got chewed up and spit right back out to my parents’ house in Miami 6 months later.

I freelanced for several months before landing my first real adult job at a small public involvement firm. Basically the PR firm for the Department of Transportation. Even though the job was far from glamorous, I learned a lot and still helped win a pitch for a $500 million construction project (and my logo was on a billboard on the side of the highway… holla!) Every job teaches you something, even if it’s that orange construction vests aren’t a good look for you.

I’m a tall 5’3”

The only band poster I ever hung in my room.

As a late in life lesbian I now question if this was a sign 🤔